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ut0pia
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Name: Kristina
Interests: Music, the violin, cleaning, culture, social issues, baking, dying my hair, Guess?, lace, fireplaces, December, my Blackberry, shotgunning, Harry Potter series, chick lit, internships, lounges, laughing, faux eyelashes, Marky Mark, club hopping, texting, Filipinos, manicures, sleeping, candles, dirty dry corny and awkward humor, flirting, shopping, parties, Bailey's, coffee, chocolate, iPods, concerts, intelligent people, Disney, cracking my neck, slutty tops, firm beds, trustworthy people, cake, good mascara, the beach, sunrises, seafood, shades of green, sunlight, ranting, blogging, wrestling, mispronouncing words, Mac blush, WiiFit, shoulders and backs, Gmail, stressing, massages, hookah, slow jams, wedges, Super Mario, bargaining, roses,
Expertise: nothing that will fit in this tiny ass box
Occupation: Student
Industry: Research
Message: message me
Member Since:
10/22/2003
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| Happy Mother's Day. Thanks for teaching me how to be low-confident, distrustful, and how to cope with stressful situations. You've always instilled a sense of failure in me.
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| What's up xangans, I have a depressing post tonight so you are forewarned.
I have a younger brother and we are 16 years apart. It's difficult for me to bond with someone that young in age. I progressively perceived our relationship as an annoying chore that my mom can't handle. She's not educated or patient enough to tutor him, yet she screams at him for failing his homework assignments. She's angry when he's playing video games, even though she bought him the Wii, iPad, Xbox, Nintendo DS, PS2. She expects the impossible, but does not provide him with the tools or environment to succeed.
I came home today at 9:30 and saw my brother eating a McDonald's cheeseburger with a jumbo-sized soda on the floor in the corner. I was upset because
1) it's 9:30 and he's eating 30 minutes before his bedtime
2) he's eating fast food
3) he's eating on the floor in isolation (as if he's embarrassed)
4) my mom makes no effort to cook for him. instead, she takes the easy route and buys him fast food
I feel sorry for my brother. I'm sad that he has such a poor childhood. I can tell he's becoming a very dysfunctional person. I grew up in the same unhealthy environment, but I was much older (12) when it started happening. In the past half year, I am increasingly disturbed and worried about him because he became internalized and indifferent about everything. And of course, the reason for all this is our mom. She is a terrible mother and sad to say, we are living proof of that. Don't worry, as an adult I recognize the weaker points of my personality and it is a working progress. I am 99% fixed. :) But I don't know what I can do for my brother. He is a slave to her emotional abuse. I always wonder if I should seek professional help for my mom, or talk to a teacher from my brother's school. I think I've given up too much on my mom to seek professional help for her. I think the only thing I can do now is support my brother in all ways that I can.
As for me, I'm trying to paint my own picture in life. I'm still at my job at Genentech. Still paying off loans. I was thinking about going back to school for a health career, but I'm not sold on that idea yet. My grandma is growing weaker--a natural part of life but it's somber. I love her a lot and try to help her around the house in any way I can. I'm starting to have a more open relationship with my dad and I like it. I wish I could say the same with my mom. I have a cool boyfriend who's really great. He lives near me and I see him almost everyday, and I love it. I've lost about 25 pounds in the past year, but still trying to lose 15 more. I'm finally in the healthy BMI!! Weight loss is always a fun adventure. I'm taking anatomy class, and it's hella hard.
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| ugh, no one fucking cares!!!
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| fucking shit, spent way too much money this past month fuck
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| Can't wait for this upcoming weekend!!!!!!!!!!!! Been waiting too long for this :)
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